Note: This post is part of Fatherhood Friday at Dad Blogs, where all the cool kids are hanging out. (Moms are welcome over there!) Welcome to my visitors from DB; thanks for stopping in!
Parents have to work as a team. It should be a natural thing; after all, you start out as a team before the kids come along, right? For many people, the arrival of children decimates the marital team or, much worse, creates different teams that pit a parent and a child against the other parent.
Thank goodness, Jim and I have always, without fail, been on the same team. We adamantly adhere to the Bill Cosby Method of “Us against Them”. Besides the obvious fact that our kids *will* indeed leave this house someday to be on their own and it will be just the two of us again, there is that matter of diligently working on the creation of fine young adults. We accepted that challenge when we decided to have children and, believe me (especially this week), it is truly a challenge sometimes.
But as I mentioned, what never, ever wavers is that Jim and I are on the same team. More importantly, our kids know that. We have taught them to NEVER, EVER play one of us against the other. If Mom says “no”, don’t go to Dad…and vice versa. They each tried it–ONCE–and then learned that there was hell to pay so that little idea left their arsenals for good.
If Jim and I disagree about a kid issue (which, honestly, is not often! it’s so nice.), we don’t discuss our differences or lobby for what we want in front of the child in question. That only shows holes in our armor. We discuss privately, come to an agreement, and then present our decision as a united front.
My kids don’t know how lucky they are. I’m sure they don’t feel lucky at times, but they’ll appreciate how we parented by the time they bring their own kids into this crazy world (I hope). Getting back to that part about it just being the two of us again someday? All this teamwork is going to make that phase of our life lots more enjoyable, too.