I have, regarding approximately 98% of the elements in my life*, a super-human sense of stick-to-it-iveness. It’s a lethal combination of passion, attention to detail, pride, perfectionism, strong work ethic, and stubbornness. When I decide to do something, I put on my game face, focus on the goal, and get to work. I’m often the last one standing after others have long given up. Usually, I don’t allow setbacks to get me down. (That’s my sense of denial stepping in, I think!)
On Monday afternoon, I had a little bump in the road with a current project, and although I did my best to play it off and move on, I let it get into my head. Yesterday, I was a hot mess. I was on the verge of tears all day long. I let the fear of failure ooze its way into the “go-get-’em” part of my brain. I was running through all of the negative “What ifs?” instead of focusing on the positive ones like I usually do.
Finally, at the end of the day, relief came in the form of encouragement from Jim and my sister. I felt much better, and it was time to start using that strike command again.
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I have to start all over again?
What if that finally gets it done?
What if it takes a really long time?
What if it doesn’t?
That’s more like it.
That’s more like ME.
So, today? I’m back. Onward and upward.
*Unfortunately this sense doesn’t translate when it comes to my diet, but that’s another post for another day.
©2010 Suburban Scrawl