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Movie Popcorn. We Have a Love/Hate Relationship.

Ah, movie popcorn.

It’s one of my very favorite things to eat in the entire world. And yes, I know it’s horrible for me, especially with extra butter. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s HORRIBLE for me. Horrible.

But I love it so.

I happen to think that the theaters who have the little “add-your-own-butter” stations did that just for me.

I get a little carried away. In fact, I expect my local theater to take away those stations someday, and it’ll be because of me.

Last summer, I cut way, way back on the movie popcorn and then I gradually started eating it again. But ONLY when I go to the movies.

(Which is a couple times every month.)

I can order a small popcorn with no problem.

small movie popcorn

But the medium is usually only a dollar more.

medium movie popcorn

And the large, bigger-that-my-head bucket? Only a dollar more.

I mean, I don’t HAVE to eat all of the popcorn in the bucket, right?

By the way, that’s terrible logic: to spend a dollar more on something I won’t completely finish.

(Not that I have never completely finished a large bucket of popcorn, alone. Because I have. Several times. Okay, many times.)

That’s the logic I use every time, though. I’m saving money, and can take popcorn home for later. As if I need it for later. Anyway.

On Saturday, Jim and I went to see “The Judge”. Phenomenal movie, by the way.

I ordered my money-saving large bucket of popcorn, ate half, and then threw the rest away on the way out because I had a stomach ache.

“I don’t think I can eat popcorn at the movies anymore,” I said to Jim. “It made me feel really icky.”

He stared at me with a look that said, “After nearly twenty-eight years of marriage I think I know you better than that…”

I responded to his silence by saying, “I’m serious. I’m not eating it anymore. Cold turkey for me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel because I can’t eat just a little bit!”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

I WOULD SHOW HIM.

The chance to prove myself came more quickly than I had anticipated: we took in another movie yesterday, Brad Pitt’s “Fury”. It was playing at our favorite theater, the one that has a full menu. We decided to see the 1:00 show and eat lunch.

“Great,” I said, “we’re eating lunch and no popcorn! I can do this.”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

Once we were seated in the theater, I looked at Jim and said, “I’m getting a burger for lunch. But no popcorn…WAIT. I mean, this is really hard. No popcorn? How can I see a movie and not eat popcorn? Oh my gosh, what was I thinking, no popcorn?? WHO AM I? Well. I mean, I can TOTALLY control myself. I’ll just order a popcorn WITH my burger and, you know, control myself. By only eating a few pieces. Or a handful. I mean, I certainly can stop before I get a stomach ache. I’m a control freak! Control my popcorn intake? TOTALLY. Okay, that decides it. I’m getting popcorn. I know I said I wasn’t going to but I totally am. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m doing it. You hear me? I’M DOING IT. With extra butter. No regrets. I’m in total control here. Control of my popcorn destiny. Yes, I’d like a burger and a popcorn. Extra butter. Thank you.”

As I sank back into my seat I watched my husband laugh and shake his head, not surprised by my behavior in the slightest.

Man, I’m lucky to have him. And movie popcorn with extra butter.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • angela November 3, 2014, 11:56 am

    That’s Ryan’s favorite thing ๐Ÿ™‚ I prefer the monster serving of Reese’s Pieces.

    • Melisa Wells November 4, 2014, 7:23 am

      I do like a little Reese’s Pieces on the side. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Ashley November 3, 2014, 3:22 pm

    I hear you. I make them fill it halfway, add the butter, fill it the rest of the way and top with butter. And we get the tub because REFILLS ARE FREE. So we eat one tub in the movie, then get a refill on the way out and have it for snack the next day. AWFUL.

    • Melisa Wells November 4, 2014, 7:24 am

      Just terrible. But really, there’s no other way to do it. LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

  • Shannon November 3, 2014, 5:31 pm

    Almost every time I go to the movies with one of my kids, I say that we are not getting popcorn. They smirk and say “OK, Mom.” I think you know what happens next in this story.

    • Melisa Wells November 4, 2014, 7:24 am

      I do, because I’ve lived it. LOL

  • TheNextMartha November 3, 2014, 8:08 pm

    What *is* that buter stuff anyways?

    • Melisa Wells November 4, 2014, 7:25 am

      A-ha! Jim and I had THAT conversation too. I know at Hollywood Palms it’s REAL butter. Not sure about AMC, which could have been my problem. It may just be “yellow”. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Patty November 3, 2014, 9:07 pm

    I can’t ever say no to popcorn. The ONE time I watched a movie without popcorn I could hardly concentrate on the movie. Then I bought one on the way out…it just made sense.

    • Melisa Wells November 4, 2014, 7:26 am

      That totally makes sense to me, too! *high five*

  • Samantha November 5, 2014, 7:05 am

    A world without popcorn feels so gray. I will NEVER NOT EAT IT! Extra butter puhlease! MWAH!

  • Momo November 5, 2014, 8:30 pm

    Remind me to tell you about Mike and his refillable bag.