Unfortunately, all of the answers can’t be found on Google.
I mean, LOTS of them can…but often there are questions or problems that can’t be resolved by typing in a query.
Here’s what I do when I have a dilemma: I call someone to talk it out.
Now, you might think that when I say “talk it out”, I mean that I’m calling that person to have a two-person exchange about my issue and then hang up feeling triumphant because we have figured it out together. Good job. That’s what I thought I was doing too, for a while. Not so. I mean, that’s my INTENTION, but that’s not exactly how it all plays out.
You know what they say about how, if you want someone to talk, you just leave a little bit of silence in the conversation from your end and then the person with whom you’re speaking will get uncomfortable and start blathering?
This is nothing like that. Except the blathering.
First of all, I didn’t even really realize that I was doing what I’m about to tell you until Momo, one of my closest friends who ONLY speaks the honest truth, put a pin in my balloon and told me, and now I’m self-conscious about it. That said, there are way worse faults I think? Yes, there are. There are definitely worse faults to have, so I don’t feel as bad as I did a minute ago. Shew!
See? I just did it.
What I do is, I make the call and explain my dilemma, and then…I solve it. Usually by myself, apparently. When I called Momo a couple of weeks ago with the problem-du-jour, I started talking about it without even giving her a chance to insert some silence so I could get uncomfortable (like THAT would ever happen with a close friend!) and when I stopped to get validation by saying, “Don’t you think?”, she replied “Well maybe; I’m just waiting for you to finish talking it out like you always do.”
And then we both laughed, only I think it was just me, laughing alone.
Thank God for good friends who love me anyway, in spite of things like this.
The good news is, I’m an excellent listener and when my friends call me with their own issues, I actually do know when to shut up and hear them out until they’re ready for me to pipe in. I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t take my turn to listen? Not a very good one in my opinion. Don’t you agree? Of course you do. That’s what I thought.
There I go again.